looking for 80’s/90’s war movie, there is some political tension and “revolution people” (probably on Vietnam), is about Western Woman (British probably), her daughter start a relation with a older man (also Western, I think he was her teacher or something) both gets involved with the revolution and have to hide, they have a children and more  things happen, and there is a scene that the woman find the man dead with the grandson in his arms, is dubious if he shot himself or was killed, and the woman keeps her grandchild